Today is Mother's Day and while we are spending it back in the hospital while trying to manage coverage for our 20 month old son and I am seven months pregnant today -- I am extremely grateful for my family the health of my husband, daughter, son, and expected baby. But my Mother's Day will always be special because of one very talented man and surgeon, Dr. Ram Emani.
In honor of Mother's Day today, being back in the hospital under the fantastic and unwavering care of Dr. Emani and our cardiologist Dr. Tworetsky -- I want to post this letter that I wrote to Dr. Emani on my first Mother's Day back in May of 2010 when Haven was just two months old and finally home with us for the first time after surviving her first open heart and a week on life support.
I continue to owe my family to this man, his dedication to his craft, and his continued commitment to keep my daughter and other children like her alive. It's a relationship, an appreciation, and a thankfulness that I can't really describe except for honoring my gratitude for what he has done for me and my family by sharing this letter and reflecting on how grateful I was in May of 2010 and how grateful I still am in 2013 with my three year old heart baby and the Fontan behind me. From the bottom of my heart Dr. Emani, Thank You.
Dear Dr. Emani:
Haven just turned 2 months this past week and she's doing really well with us at home. She is almost 9 and 1/2 pounds! I have thought of you so many, many times since we left the hospital on April 7th. And today was a really special day for me and I wanted to drop you a line to let you know I was thinking about you and all that you’ve done for us.
Today was a big milestone because we were never sure what our Mother's Day 2010 would look like since we received our diagnosis when I was 20 weeks pregnant back in October 2009. Today we got to celebrate with Haven in our arms and we talked about you a lot and how lucky we are that she is still with us.
Mainly I just don’t know how I can ever express how grateful I am that you came into our lives when we needed you most – you ended up literally saving my daughter’s life.
I never imagined in all my life that I would ever need somebody to do something like that for me. It’s hard to know how to properly thank you for something like that. I know we still have a long road ahead of us protecting Haven and trying to keep her safe and healthy – but each and everyday that passes where she’s okay, growing, and spending time with us – Brian and I both think of you and what you did inside her tiny little heart on March 8th just four days after she was born and we are literally overcome with a kind of gratitude that’s hard to explain.
I can’t stop thinking about how you get up everyday and you and your team face delicate procedure after delicate procedure -- with these tiny little hearts and valves – where you don’t always know what’s going to happen or whether or not you’ll be able to fix what you see inside these little bodies. Then you have to face parents like us – whom you hardly know – and you have to explain to us what you know and what you don’t know – that you can’t promise anything but that you’ll try your best – and within a single day, we -- a bunch of strangers -- become completely meshed together in an event that could change someone like me and Brian’s lives forever. In that moment, when you came out of surgery to tell us how Haven was doing and how her surgery went – you became the single most important person in my life. Haven’s life depended on you. Mine and Brian’s future depended on you. That is an unbelievable task to take on for someone you don’t even know – and I will be forever in your debt because of it.
I guess I want you to know that I appreciate all that you’ve done in your life to become the amazing surgeon that you are. All the sacrifices that you’ve made throughout your life to learn about someone like Haven’s heart and how to fix it – all the sleepless nights you must have endured studying and learning how to do what you did for Haven on March 8th.
And to your family – please send this to them – and tell them how thankful Brian and I are for all the sacrifices that they have made so that you could be at Haven’s bedside the way that you were. It was one thing for us to feel like days turned into nights and we had no concept of whether it was morning or evening or from one day to the next – but we know that you were there, too – mornings, evenings, middle of the night – it didn’t matter – it felt like no matter what time – you were always there during those critical days in the ICU – and we know that your family sacrifices a lot so that you can be the surgeon that you are – and we want to thank them, too – for everything they have to deal with so that families like ours can have access to someone like you. When I look at Haven I think of all of you and just how many people have sacrificed so that she can be in my arms. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
After our diagnosis, Brian and I had zero expectations of what lay ahead. We just told one another that no matter what we’d get through this and we would do everything we could to get Haven safely into the world. After she was born, we had to transfer all of that love, care, hope, and worry over to you, Tworetzky and your team. We could not be more grateful to you for the simple fact that we are keenly aware that Haven was not born with the anatomy she needed to survive. But because of someone like you and the sacrifices that you and the people closest to you have made – we celebrated Mother’s Day today with a beautiful baby girl whose heart beats because of you.
Thank you so much Dr. Emani.
We know we are in the best hands possible as we move forward on this journey with you – thank you so much for continuing to be in our lives and continuing to fix our little Haven along the way.
Molly Foley
