Anyone in a marriage with small children can relate to this video. And this couple doesn't even have kids!
Flight of the Conchords should update this song and add some lyrics about how even more unsexy your life gets after children. Freakin priceless.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Forgo the Ergo
I wish I had the time to update about all the things that have happened since my last post (Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Snow Freezing Weather, Snow and More Snow). But my current daily demands just won't allow for it.
Instead, I am desperately trying to find a way to manage these three monkey's for my first winter home with them since I would normally be defecting to my parent's little place in the Utah desert. But that won't fly this year because they don't have enough closets for me to shove my kid's pac-n-plays into. I thought about putting Tommy in a drawer but he's six months old this week. That'd just be rude. He is already getting the short end of the stick as it is.
So at home with all three and braving a New England winter which so far has brought us a Polar Vortex and a Bombogenesis? (seriously? maybe I'll get into the business of naming winter storms when I finally am able to ease myself into the workforce again someday -- because that's just awesome to think there are people sitting around a table somewhere making good money to come up with this shit).
Instead, it kind of doesn't matter what's going on outside because I can barely even think of attempting to go outside without first trying to figure out how to manage this situation hands-free, since I can't grow another appendage, and holding a baby and trying to break-up toddler fights, while putting someone in timeout with my one free leg isn't exactly working -- I broke down and decided I may have to actually use a baby carrier -- something I have been religiously committed to avoiding since having kids. I hate them. Absolutely detest them and the damage they do to my body. But this situation has pushed me to consider it. So I looked it up online because how in holy hell am I going to get a baby on my back by myself without help. And this is what I found:
This made me laugh. And a little bit sad. The fact that this poor woman's reality has brought her to talking so casually about the ridiculous body movements it takes to literally sling a baby precariously onto her back so she can be hands-free to put out the other multiple fires that are surely going on in her life -- and then having the empathy to broadcast herself on You Tube so some other poor sap like myself can easily find the step-by-step process for this act of desperation -- well, it pretty much sums up any update I could have given about being at home with all three from October trough February. This video kinda sums it up for me.
And therefore, I will not be using the Ergo or attempting to do this at home without a spotter. Back to breaking up toddler fights with a six month old clinging for his life on my hip. Oh well Google, maybe next time.
Instead, I am desperately trying to find a way to manage these three monkey's for my first winter home with them since I would normally be defecting to my parent's little place in the Utah desert. But that won't fly this year because they don't have enough closets for me to shove my kid's pac-n-plays into. I thought about putting Tommy in a drawer but he's six months old this week. That'd just be rude. He is already getting the short end of the stick as it is.
So at home with all three and braving a New England winter which so far has brought us a Polar Vortex and a Bombogenesis? (seriously? maybe I'll get into the business of naming winter storms when I finally am able to ease myself into the workforce again someday -- because that's just awesome to think there are people sitting around a table somewhere making good money to come up with this shit).
Instead, it kind of doesn't matter what's going on outside because I can barely even think of attempting to go outside without first trying to figure out how to manage this situation hands-free, since I can't grow another appendage, and holding a baby and trying to break-up toddler fights, while putting someone in timeout with my one free leg isn't exactly working -- I broke down and decided I may have to actually use a baby carrier -- something I have been religiously committed to avoiding since having kids. I hate them. Absolutely detest them and the damage they do to my body. But this situation has pushed me to consider it. So I looked it up online because how in holy hell am I going to get a baby on my back by myself without help. And this is what I found:
This made me laugh. And a little bit sad. The fact that this poor woman's reality has brought her to talking so casually about the ridiculous body movements it takes to literally sling a baby precariously onto her back so she can be hands-free to put out the other multiple fires that are surely going on in her life -- and then having the empathy to broadcast herself on You Tube so some other poor sap like myself can easily find the step-by-step process for this act of desperation -- well, it pretty much sums up any update I could have given about being at home with all three from October trough February. This video kinda sums it up for me.
And therefore, I will not be using the Ergo or attempting to do this at home without a spotter. Back to breaking up toddler fights with a six month old clinging for his life on my hip. Oh well Google, maybe next time.
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