She's super pregnant and I'm super tired from child rearing -- so we make a good pair. She's hanging in there with things as best she can....it's not easy waiting for a baby to arrive. She is in her last month and I've been getting sympathy pains all weekend just knowing how tough that it is. Anyone who has been pregnant knows you exist somewhere between wanting to rip the band aid off already and have the damn baby or just stay pregnant the rest of your life so you don't have to face what lies ahead. Your first pregnancy is so hard because no matter how many people around you tell you what it's like to have children...you just can't know what they are talking about until you experience it. Everyone has the best intentions of helping you understand what you can expect as you get closer to your impending due date -- but on some level you just don't quite know what you are waiting for exactly. It's so hard to imagine yourself holding your own baby, becoming an actual "mother", and trying to picture your new life with a baby in it 24-7. You've seen people around you do it throughout your life -- but here you are about to embark on it yourself. Crazy stuff. Makes the waiting hard.
But my friend Ger is the trooper of all troopers and she's getting through this last part one day at a time. She and I had similar first pregnancies in that they didn't pan out to be what we expected. Ger hasn't put a nursery together. I didn't either. It was too hard to have baby stuff just sitting there waiting when I wasn't sure what was exactly going to happen with the baby....the thought of having all that stuff lying around if the unmentionable happened....it was just too hard. Ger's baby is healthy and she's got tons of family support and amazing friends -- but that doesn't change the fact that she's 34 weeks pregnant and lives alone. It's scary. I was scared in my last month waiting for the baby to arrive and I had Brian AND my parents living with me. This morning I had to leave Geraldine. And while I love my husband and my kids....I selfishly wished we could time travel back to when it was just the two of us living together as roommates....if I was on my own with no one else depending on me...I would have stopped my life and lived with her this last month just to calm her fears and let her know someone was physically there for her if she needed anything leading up to this "wee one's" arrival. It literally broke my heart to leave her this morning. But when she dropped my off at the airport this morning we both said (admittedly through a few tears) -- we're going to be old and gray someday just sitting around laughing and carrying on with all of this behind us.
When I had to drop off Geraldine at Logan airport a few weeks before I delivered Haven -- I was a mess. She grabbed me by the shoulders and she told me that no matter what happened, she'd be back, we'd see each other again soon and we'd always, always be there for each other -- through thick and thin -- I'd see her again, the baby would be born, and we'd get through whatever lay ahead with Haven's diagnosis. Well, two and half years later, here I am at Dublin airport on my way back to Boston with my arms on her shoulders returning the favor.
I told her no matter what, I'd see her again, she'd have her precious cargo with her, and this scary part of things would be behind us. That we'll always have each other no matter what. I gave her a kiss, told her she was going to do great, that she should try not to worry too much...she'll be alright....because she's going to be a wonderful mother. She really and truly is. I couldn't be more proud of her and I couldn't be more thankful that I was able to be there for her in her time of need. Just like she was there for me during mine.
No comments:
Post a Comment